Today’s my birthday! 🎂
If you know me, you know I don’t like to fuss about my birthday, but today is a big one, so I think a little bit of fuss just for me is allowed. 😄
Anyway, of all those years and all those birthdays, one stands out: my thirtieth.
A typical Virgo, I’ve always hated birthday surprises and too much attention. As my thirtieth birthday approached, I made sure I removed my date of birth from Facebook and every other public place. I knew the only people who truly cared about my birthday, my parents, were going to be out of town, so no fuss there. I also made sure to remind my husband how much I hated surprises. Being a Pisces, however, he always fussed about my birthday anyway, which made me feel loved and, even though I would never have admitted it to him, happy.
The place I worked at during that time in my life was very special, although I hadn’t thought of it that way then.
In the days leading up to my birthday, every time someone mentioned it, I’d make a face and quickly shut them down. I did not want any reminders that I was about to be thirty. For some reason, I was panicking big time. I just wanted it to be a normal day so I wouldn’t have to think about how old I was.
When I got to work that morning, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. People went about their day like they always did, and I exhaled, knowing I’d succeeded in hiding the fact that it was my thirtieth birthday.
I went to make some copies, mostly so I could stop at a colleague’s desk and talk about the latest episode of Lost, when all of a sudden, the lights went out and the Happy Birthday song filled the place.
They had made me a cake.
As they put it down in front of me, I realized the candles weren’t ordinary birthday candles. They were letters, and they spelled:
OVER THE HILL.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Everyone stood there watching my reaction while I kept staring down at that cake, ready to burst into tears. I’m still not sure whether they were happy tears or sad tears, but tears nonetheless.
Then I looked up and met some of their eyes, and suddenly, we all burst into laughter at the same time. They laughed at my facial expression, and I laughed because they were laughing, and it just went on and on.
“Laughter is the best medicine,” they say, and whoever they are, they’re right.
Oh, there were presents and cards that followed, too, but the intimacy of that moment, seeing those candles and the amazed looks on those faces, will forever be etched in my mind.
Like I said, it wasn’t anything spectacular. It was just an ordinary day that happened to be my birthday.
But in that moment, on that day, I felt like I belonged.
No one interrupted my conversation just to point out that my accent indicated I was born somewhere else. No one asked me to remind them again where I was born. Not one person asked, “And do they have birthdays over where you’re from?”
That day, none of those things mattered to the people with whom I was sharing some of the best laughter of my life.
I am so grateful for that day. I’m so happy I had that specific group of people in my life. They were exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed them.
And now, all these birthdays later, I think about the girl staring at those “OVER THE HILL” candles, convinced that turning thirty was practically a tragedy.
If only she knew.
Before that year was over, my second son would be born, and thirty would become one of the happiest years of my life.
Funny how we fear getting older when we have no idea what life is still waiting to give us.
So today, I’ll allow a little fuss. I’ll celebrate being here, the people I’ve loved along the way, the places I’ve belonged, and all the ordinary days that somehow became unforgettable.
Happy Birthday to me. ❤️
About the AuthorSanela Ramić Jurich is a survivor of the Yugoslav war and the author of several novels inspired by lived experience. She writes to remember, to honor, and to ensure that even the darkest chapters are never erased. View Sanela's complete profile